Subtitle: "On perfecting
the MACCHIATO"
VWH is a coffee
snob. He drinks two carafes (it should be noted that in this blog you will see that I’ve
picked up a wealth of vocabulary due to the aforementioned husband) of French press coffee a day. We buy whole
bean coffee that is freshly ground on our kitchen counter. The other day we
were talking with somebody who discussed enjoying “gourmet Folgers coffee.” VWH had to turn away to hide his smile. He insists that I will end up drinking coffee
someday. I tell him he is crazy. When we were first married I couldn’t even
tolerate the smell of coffee. (One of
those for better or for worse things.) Not
a tea drinker either, I opted for hot chocolate or chai lattes if I wanted
something hot.
But then we
moved back to upstate New York, where there is winter for 7 months a year and a
coffee shop on every corner. It became a
desperate situation. I was cold, darn it! And I didn’t want to drink hot chocolate multiple
times a week for the rest of my life. It
should be noted that I maintained my coffee virginity for over 5 years of
marriage, a feat that I think ought to be commended.
My slow descent
into the land of the beans is, of course, not my fault whatsoever. I blame VWH for drinking vats of coffee
around me. I blame a dear friend from my
camp counseling days, who told me about Starbuck’s salted caramel hot chocolate, which I indulged in several years ago
and thoroughly enjoyed. I then blame another dear friend, a barista at
Starbucks, who informed me pf salted
caramel mochas, which is basically sin in a cup. I blame my pastor, who drinks caramel macchiatos and frequently uses
them in sermon illustrations, essentially equating them to spiritual awakenings.
So when I tried
the salted caramel mocha last year and it was delicious, I naturally wanted to
figure out if I could make it at home.
This led to the purchase of a relatively inexpensive moka pot, which allows us to make espresso on the privacy of our stove
top. I also attempted to make my own
caramel sauce on the same stove top, which was a disaster worthy of a separate entry. So the moka pot was put away, and my first
foray into coffee labeled a failure.
The same barista
who introduced me to salted caramel mochas also is to blame for informing me about
Tim Horton’s English Toffee cappuccino. Less than half the cost of a pricey
Starbucks drink, and the same wallop of caffeine! All of the sudden my worship team rehearsals
had more energy, my house was cleaner, and, quite frankly, I was a happier
person. The results couldn’t be ignored.
The English Toffee-Sunday-morning
habit set me down the path, once again, towards experimenting with various
coffee-based beverages. I tried the sacred
caramel macchiato, and its new twin, the hazelnut
macchiato, which in my-honest-but-correct-opinion, wiped the caramel’s floor in sweet, nutty goodness. Running errands became more tolerable if
there was a coffee shop nearby. “I
deserve a $4 hot drink because of fill
in the blank with some overly pathetic, yet at the time perfectly valid, excuse.”
Yet, I knew I
couldn’t keep it up. We aren’t made of
money, or espresso. We dragged out the
moka pot once again, and I remembered that once upon a time my best friend
(also a former barista) had gotten me a milk
frother for a birthday present. Lo
and behold, it creates delicious foam in steamed milk, which is a necessity for
lattes and macchiatos.
The internet
provided recipe guides for making your own macchiatos, which looked pretty
doable. The past week or two I’ve been
experimenting. VWH has been a supportive
husband in helping me make espresso in the moka pot, even though he won’t touch
my beverage because it’s far too girly for a manly French press tough guy.
My first recipe
used 6 ounces of brewed coffee instead of espresso, and I thought it would be a
lot easier than having to use the moka pot.
It was OK, but the drink seemed too watery without the larger proportion
of milk. Then we tried it with espresso,
and it was closer, but the recipe we were using called for caramel syrup in the
bottom instead of the vanilla syrup Starbucks used. The result was a drink too bitter at the top
and waaay too sticky-sweet at the bottom.
So I decided to
make my own vanilla syrup. This, for
those of you who are still with me, is what leads me to today. I made the syrup (equal parts of water and
sugar, simmered for a few minutes, with vanilla extract added) successfully on the
first try and set it to cool. VWH
offered to make espresso while I steamed the milk. I wanted to practice steaming it on my own
and getting it hot without boiling, which is harder than it looks when you only
have a pot and a handheld milk frother. The
idea is to get the milk done right before the espresso so you can pour the milk
into the cup, then add the freshest shot of espresso you can get.
Things were
going splendidly. The milk was frothed (I
hate that word, by the way) and I was just waiting a smidge longer for it to be
warmer than room temperature. I walked
over to the sink to check something and in those 10 seconds the entire pot just…erupted. There was milk everywhere…I had no idea it
could be so invasive. And, of course,
since I had recently made vanilla syrup and the moka pot was on the back
burner, the milk burned itself to every hot surface it could reach. We cleared out the area as best as we could
but attempt number one was an utter disaster.
VWH poured the spoiled espresso down the drain and settled down with his
own carafe of perfect coffee.
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| I'm afraid it was far worse than this picture that I found on the internet. Much, much worse. |
I opened the
fridge. He looked at me wearily. “Are you getting some cake?” he asked
hopefully. “Nope! The milk!
I’m trying again!” His tired eyes
clearly said, “that’s what I was afraid of.”
I assured him I could do it myself and would only ask questions if I got
stuck. He obviously didn’t trust me,
because he generously hopped up and helped me clean the moka pot and showed me
how to grind the coffee beans and prep the process once again.
This time I
barely blinked as I frothed. I watched
the clock like a hawk. Here is what I
discovered (perhaps the entire purpose of this entry is to immortalize the following
formula…):
It takes
approximately 4 and a half minutes on my stove setting ‘8’ to steam milk
successfully without boiling. The moka
pot takes 4 minutes on 8 to make espresso.
The order of the drink is : 2T of vanilla syrup in cup, 1 cup of steamed
milk (2% if you have it, but I don’t so I did 1% with a splash of whole milk),
3 ounces of espresso, and a drizzle of caramel syrup on the top, ala
Starbucks. And it WORKED! I’ve been enjoying it the past half-hour and
calculating how much I saved by doing it at home. (Not counting the first attempt, of course.) At somewhere around 220 calories, it’s not an
every-day thing, but I’d rather have a long, hot beverage than a piece of cake.
So, strength for
today and bright hope for tomorrow, friends.
I’ll keep you posted if I start drinking coffee black, straight from the
carafe. I highly doubt it. But, according to VWH, I’m already halfway
down the path of no return. I’ve gotta
say, it’s a yummy path.
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| Ta-da! A fitting way to celebrate 100 blog posts! |
