So I've been feeling off-and-on cruddy for the past 6 weeks. I've had this annoying "can't take a deep breath without coughing" symptom since April, with additional 2-3 day waves of "fever, body aches, exhaustion, lightheadedness" every week or so. The first time I had a fever I called my doctor and he basically said, "unless you're dying you can't get a COVID test, so don't bother." Which was real helpful. He wasn't lying, but it didn't do much to bring peace of mind.
The second wave of fever I kind of shrugged off as a weird coincidence. He said I probably didn't have it two weeks ago, and this was the same thing, and we're all stuck at home anyway...
Then I woke up on Sunday feeling all chilled and achy again. I'm supposed to start going back into work next week and we were thinking about a little road trip. I called my doctor again, ready to plead my case for testing. (Our insurance only covers it with a doctor note.) He was like a different dude this time--"Oh yes, absolutely. Just go to one of the drive-through centers and there's no line and definitely get tested. I'd do the same thing."
I guess the country's caught up a bit.
So yesterday I drove to the hospital, passing two separate instances of squads of cop cars surrounding a residence. (Unsettling, to say the least.) It's a scary time to be out in the world. I got to the hospital and drove around fruitlessly searching for the testing tents. I finally located them on the opposite side of the campus, only to discover that both my doctor and the internet were misinformed. The testing side didn't close at 9PM--it closed at 5PM and it was 5:01.
I drove home, past the cops, past a lot of graffiti, and dragged my sick little self back inside.
This morning I had a coughing fit for the ages, complete with bloody nose and the inability to stand up straight for ten minutes following. Whatever this is, it's no fun.
Back I drove to the hospital, where the line was long and the clouds formidable. I have to say, once I was in line, the technicians facilitating the testing site were outstanding. They were kind, knowledgeable, and personable. Their getup also made me feel like the creature in Monsters Inc who's always getting the "2319" code. They filled out a form for me, stuck it in a red folder and pinned it under my windshield wipers. Then I pulled ahead and met a wonderful technician named Lori. She listened to my chest, took my temperature (a paltry 97.2...you would think I could have mustered an actual fever when it counted), and asked me a bunch of questions about my workplace environment and medical history. She disappeared into the tent, returning with a very long, skinny swab. She instructed me to look straight ahead and try not to move. Then she administered what can only be described as a Pap smear for your nose. I don't think my left eye has returned to its normal shape yet.
She was also gracious enough to write me a prescription for extra-strength cough medicine to help me with this omnipresent hacking. So far it hasn't helped at all, but I haven't given up hope.
I don't think I have COVID. But now I've joined the cool club of having gotten sick enough to at least get tested for it. I did have the swine flu back in the day, so...maybe we can add a bat-induced disease to the checklist.
What a year!
