Kindness to the greatest and the least

Owen has been sick all week. It hasn’t been a nice sick either. You know nice sick right? The type where they’re ill enough to stay at home and sleep a lot and watch TV, but not sick enough to be throwing up or in real danger. Owen wasn’t in real danger, but he wasn’t docile either. He was CRANKY and HOT and WHINY and RESTLESS and CLINGY and SHRIEKY and did I mention CRANKY?

I haven’t had many moments to myself since Monday. He’s demanded “Mama!” a thousand times and seems the least CRANKY when he’s in my arms (although he’s certainly not content).

My mama’s heart hurt to see Owen upset and clearly not himself. But as the days wore on it began to ache more for James, who was repeatedly forced to entertain himself. Owen, in addition to demanding a grownup’s attention at all times, also found some kind of sick relief in smacking his big brother on the head, swiping his toys, and screaming “NO!” in his face repeatedly. It quickly became easier for James to shut himself in his room away from the insanity. Admittedly, this is something he does very well—to the extent that it would be tempting to think he was perfectly happy on his own. But I missed him and I missed our things together. And I suspected he felt similarly. 

Last night I put Owen down at 7:30 and offered to extend James’ bedtime if he could help me bake some cookies for our new neighbors. He eagerly agreed and pulled up his favorite green chair next to the counter. He weighed ingredients, opened butter, operated the mixer, and taste-tested the sugars and chocolate to make sure they were all safe. He chatted away as easily as I’ve ever seen while we worked together, wondering aloud about our new neighbors and if they would finally mow their yard and if he could have some “green milk” (1% comes in a green jug) and what our bedtime story would be and how much fun it was to splash around in the kiddie pool earlier and so on and so forth. I listened to the words tumble out of his mouth and delighted in connecting with my son.

And then he looked at me and said happily, “So. What’s going on in gy-nastics Mommy?”

When Roy and I go running we try to keep conversation going to help the miles tick off. I often ask him what’s new with the Bills to give him something fun to talk about and when he’s feeling particularly generous he asks me what’s new on the elite gymnastics scene. (Sometimes the run is hard and I just volunteer that information anyway. He’s always a good sport about it.)

So for my little four year old, who cares diddly squat about gymnastics, asked me what was new, my heart cracked and exploded and melted all at once. So desperate to connect with a parent, so sweet to think of something I would be excited about, so dear to cheerfully offer to watch it with me the next time it’s on.

The week has been very much about just holding on. I’ve sensed the four of us individually working very hard to maintain control and sanity in our unique ways. James showed me, in that little moment, that we’re better and happier when we are together.

We finished the cookie dough and read outside on the front stoop for another half hour before bedtime. When I opened the door Owen was crying for “Mama” again. James scooped up some stuffed animals to take to him, I scooped up the babe, and the three of us ended up on my bed. James stroked Owen’s hair and said in the softest sweetest voice, “Hey there little Owen. Why are you so sad? Do you just want to snuggle in bed?”

There are days--as I clean up the twentieth mess, when there have been more scrapes and bumps than smiles, when the word 'share' is a swear word--when I wonder if my children will ever be civilized human beings. And then there are days when I wonder where MY civility is when I see it modeled so perfectly by a child.

By the way, Owen is doing a lot better today, and both boys have been playing together for the first time all week. The house is slowly getting cleaned again and I found time to bake bread this morning. Normalcy is on the horizon and the hope of it is comforting. But my first real ray of sunshine all week came in the evening, and it came from James.

July Date Night In: "It Gets Him"

Menu:

·         Pineapple Rosarita

·         Avocado Salad with Fresh Herbs and Pepitas

·         Braised Pork Chilaquiles with Roasted Tomatillo Salsa and Pickled Red Onions

·         Mexican Chocolate Sorbet with Red Wine-Poached Cherries

First off, whenever you see the word “with” in a listed menu item, that means at least two recipes. In the case of the chilaquiles, it means four. So this DNI took a considerable amount of advanced preparation. Owen has been running a high fever all week, so we crossed our fingers that he would stay asleep and allow us to enjoy a grown-up meal. (He did.)

While Roy spent some much needed one-on-one time with James, I assembled the avocado salad. We’ve grown accustomed to Ashley’s palate by now, so I wasn’t as surprised by the combination of herbs and toasted seeds. It was a good salad, and it was a pretty salad, but it didn’t steal any thunder from the main course.

 

Nice presentation, eh? ;)

Roy smashed together a couple of pineapple rosaritas after James finally went to bed. He muddled the pineapple with a muddler. I encouraged him to muddle a lot, largely because I just like the word muddle. “Muddle harder Roy! I want mine super-muddled! Is your muddler muddling well enough?” He must find me obnoxious. So much for a grown-up evening.

We were both surprised that this cocktail wasn’t sweeter. (He muddled half a pineapple between our two drinks, after all!) It was good, but it didn’t blow me away like some of the other drinks in this book. I wouldn’t have to have it again. The fresh rosemary was a smart addition, adding a nice complexity to an otherwise straightforward drink.

 

What a muddledly muddled delight.

I added up all the ingredients for the entrée. Among the pork marinade, roasting, salsa, pickled onions, and condiments, it totaled close to 40 ingredients! And MAN was it good. We ate a couple of bites and immediately exclaimed, “Oliver and Kylie would be FREAKING OUT right now.” The pork was out of this world and combined with melted cheese and smashed tortilla chips with fresh green salsa and caramelized onions…all in a hot skillet. Dang. The recipe says it serves four…we kind of didn’t believe you could eat an entire quarter-skillet in one sitting. I wouldn’t recommend it if you plan on sleeping that night. But it was entirely addicting and our solemn vows to not eat the leftovers the next day…well…

 

This would have been good enough just like this...

...but look at all the condiment fun! Cilantro, sour cream, pickled jalapenos, pickled red onions, cojita cheese, and lime wedges. 

Dessert was chocolate sorbet, which was made Mexican with the addition of spices. My opinion was -that it tasted like my pumpkin chocolate chip muffins in sorbet form, minus the pumpkin (which you really can’t taste in the muffin anyway). The cherries added a nice sweet fruity punch to accompany the bittersweet chocolate. It was yum. Ashley claimed it was just as good as ice cream, but…I’ll still take ice cream over sorbet. J

 

Tasted pretty refreshing on a 90 degree day.

I think this was probably one of our favorite date night in menus. We have enough of a handle on some of the new flavors and ingredients in this cookbook that we are getting better at anticipating the flavor of the final product. We were excited about this menu before we started and it still blew us away. Thailand last month, Mexico this. What a thrilling world tour!

Marriage isn’t about working to change the other person; it’s about knowing them fully and loving them because of and in spite of your differences. Through that we are changed. –Ashley Rodriguez, DNI, p. 119.

To the newly married couples in my world, she’s spot on.

Today’s 1%: I reclaimed my beloved tongs after a 6 week separation after being left behind at a Memorial Day picnic. The temporary owner sheepishly returned them, admitting s/he only used them “a couple of times, because they are so much nicer than the three pairs they already own.” I get it. I missed the tongs too. They are awesome tongs.

ALSO. Olympic trials this weekend. Predicted team: Biles, Douglas, Raisman, Hernandez, Kocian (I would take Locklear over Kocian, but that’s just me). 

July Date Night In: Preparations

We are forced to have this DNI early in the month since we’ll be out of town the latter half of July. Oh darn. Roy has been home this week so we’ve already collaborated on a number of preparatory steps. Here’s what’s been completed thus far:

·         Marinated pork shoulder (Pork is pretty cheap! I’m not usually a huge fan, but I have a feeling this long, slow braise is going to retain all of the juice and tenderness and convert me.)

·         Braised pork shoulder (in process even as I type)

·         Pickled red onions (Roy did this. The man is getting obsessed with pickling.)

·         Made tomatillo salsa (Have you ever used tomatillos? I hadn’t until the other day. You get to peel the husk off and rinse the slightly sticky residue off. They smelled good and the sample of salsa tasted mild, yet flavorful.)

·         Made chocolate sorbet base (I’m not even going to miss the cream with all that chocolate. And glad we purchased the ice cream attachment last month! Getting another DNI use out of it.)

·         Made red wine-poached cherries (My first adventure with lemon peel. To use the entire peel or not? To just use the yellow part seems zesty to me, but lots of contradictory opinions on whether to throw the white part in as well.)

Owen has been sick-ish/teething this week and it’s been a challenge to find time to get things accomplished without holding him or hearing him scream. So far he seems to be doing a little better this morning, although it came at the expense of little sleep for Mom last night. Time for a cup of coffee. 4 hours until nap time…for all of us. We'll eat tonight with a full review soon! :)

Celebrations!

I had the best birthday week of my life a couple of weeks ago. Here are a few reasons why it was so special…

• New kitchen things (Spatulas! Baking pan! Mixer attachment!)
• Special little boy-to-mama gifts (Nail polish and sandalwood soap)
• Homemade cookies and cream ice cream
• Two new dresses
• Two best friends visiting from oh so far away
• Pampering at a salon
• Week of vacation from work
• Clothes shopping with best friend
• Shipped boys off for weekend
• Ergo, ate 7 consecutive meals at a normal, healthy grown-up pace
• Dinner and dancing with my husband
• Glorious weather for running
• Professional photo shoot
• New diamondey earrings
• Birthday mail
• A new pillow which is incredible and I can’t believe how much a nice pillow improves my quality of life
• Baileys
• Ergo, Irish coffee

OK, so…the vast majority of those things had nothing to do with my birthday. My bestest friend decided to get married the day after my birthday and almost all of those things were actually tied to being in the bridal party. But, comon’ now, mothers of young children: can you think of a better list? Even if it’s for the betterment of somebody else? For me that makes it even better because it justifies the time and expense. “Yes, I’ll get my hair done at a salon. Anything for Jessica.”

Bliss.

Her wedding was perfection. Every detail was thought through and executed so smoothly. And there was such JOY and excitement from everyone who attended. What an honor to stand up front with her and celebrate her union with Kevin. Truly wonderful. I kept it together emotionally through the whole weekend until their first dance. Then the walls came a tumblin’ down. Wow. So much happiness with a teensy twinge of “I don’t like change” mixed in.

And then we got to do another wedding just a week later! Lucas married Melissa in a lovely ceremony in which James made it safely down the aisle, Roy and I played the right music at the right times, and Owen didn’t melt down during the ceremony. All of the high fives. While Jess’ wedding was about reconnecting with lots of college and church friends, the Smiths’ provided a perfect reason to gather our sweet family together and celebrate. They had awesome dancing music at their reception and, Melissa, if you read this: best wedding cake I’ve EVER had. I sampled three kinds. (Thanks Roy and Owen for having different flavors and being so willing to share.)

Book 38/50: The Broker. Summer’s all about light reading, right? I’m on a Grisham kick.

39/50: The Brethren. More of the same.

40/50: Vanishing Acts. A Jodi Picoult. I remember why I stopped reading her a couple of years ago. So much cliché and unnecessary heartstring pulling and predictable plots. Done now. Allllll done.

I’m now reading through the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I read the Fellowship in high school but stalled out during The Two Towers. This is a big project. Roy reread them last week. I expect this will take me at least a month. I loved the movies, but this type of writing and genre tends to put me to sleep.

A little journey, in summary

Here are the takeaways from two weeks away from gluten:

1. I didn’t notice any big differences in my bodily functions. I didn’t have more or less energy. I didn’t sleep differently. I, um, digested similarly. I have noticed a spike in my running endurance lately, but I’m not sure if this is related to cutting out gluten, or just because we’re running harder and longer since it’s nice outside. Unable to draw a clear connecting line there.
2. I missed bread for a couple of days—days 2-4 of the experiment I actually craved bread. The rest of the time I didn’t really care. And I cheated a couple of times, but not with straight-up bread. It was a graham cracker crust, or chow mein noodles on a restaurant salad that I didn’t have the energy to pick out. And that was all well and good and didn’t matter.
3. I think the biggest takeaway from living gluten-free is that wheat products are the area in which I have the hardest time stopping once I start. If you give me a bowl of ice cream I’ll eat it and be satisfied. If you give me three crackers I’ll want to eat 30 more. If you give me a slice of bread I immediately want half the loaf. Learning that this is a trigger-point for mass consumption was a valuable little factoid to pick up.
    
   I’m not ready to eat gluten free. But I really do think I’ll make more conscious choices, at least for a while, about how much I consume. Maybe limit it to one meal a day. Or make gluten free choices when that’s a convenient option. For instance, I didn’t really miss the bun with my burger, but I’m not ready to make a separate gluten-free pizza just for me when our family sits down to dinner.
    
   I also loved trying some new recipes in the kitchen, and picked up some more for future experimenting. I have a great fresh take on a quinoa salad and I still want to make those black bean brownies sometime!
    
   I was thinking of trying a similar experiment with sugar, but a couple of days ago read this article and realized somebody already stole my thunder, with what I anticipate would be similar results. We’ll see.
    
   Now, back to our Pennsylvania adventure, and to my favorite birthday meal tonight with my parents: chicken turnovers (with Mom’s amazing pie crust), roasted Brussels sprouts, and strawberry pretzel salad. Mmmmmmm. J
    
   Today’s 1%: Book 37/50: Fast Girl: A Life Spent Running From Madness. A memoir of an Olympic track star who became a call girl in Las Vegas (I totally did not read the front jacket thoroughly enough). A quick, tragic read of a woman unaware of her bipolar disorder.
    
    

A little journey, day 13. And other things.

Holding relatively strong on the no gluten thing. Today I had my birthday dessert with my family in PA and I ate the graham cracker crust that accompanied the strawberry pie. It's my birthday...11 days early, but still. :) Tomorrow marks day 14, or the end of this little experiment. I don't know exactly what the plan will be after two weeks expire. Stay tuned on that...


In other thoughts...


Baby Mallory passed away this afternoon and I cried my eyes out on the way home from a family gathering this evening. Her precious mama was on my floor in college and her grandmother one of the kindest women I know. Mallory, you had such an impact on so many in your four short months here with us. You have been loved and prayed for so often. Rest in the arms of Jesus sweet little girl.


I held my babies closer tonight.


My brother and sister-in-law showed off their new home and property tonight. And it's incredible. Like, a getaway home. The little ones loved exploring the new rooms and checking out Uncle Dan's new tractor. I tried not to notice all the counter space and beautiful cabinetry. A forever home if they want it to be.


May it be a place of refuge, of joy, of peace.


On the way back we drove by a business that, strikingly, was still waving its American flag at full height, despite presidential orders yesterday to lower to half staff for most of the week. I mentioned it offhand and Roy said that he'd heard that some are refusing the order "because it was gay people."


If that is true at any level it's the most ridiculous thing I've heard, perhaps in my entire life. I'm not one to toot any kind of political horn on social media, but let me take a second here on my blog to say that what happened in Orlando is a tragedy, a travesty, and senseless. Senseless. As in, there is zero sense in it happening. At any level. I continue to pray for those recovering, and for the families and friends of all who were impacted at Pulse.


We must choose to be a blessing for life. For Your kingdom, for our children, for the sake of every nation.

A little journey, day 10

Wednesday I cheated on this little gluten experiment. The first time was entirely accidental. The second was entirely deliberate.

Let me elaborate…

I was up most of Tuesday night texting with my sister in law, who had gone into labor quite unexpectedly (and early). When it became apparent around 4 AM that I would be needed to watch my sweet niece the following morning I promptly turned my phone down (reflex) and fell asleep. Oops.

At 6:30 Roy’s phone started buzzing and I awoke with a start, grabbed my phone, and realized I was already behind schedule. We threw the boys into the car and drove across the city, arriving, thankfully, in enough time to relieve Uncle Lucas. The morning started with a bang, and it didn’t slow down.

Watching a 4 year old, a 2 year old, a 1 year old, and a freshly neutered puppy is a big job for anyone. Doing it on 3 hours of sleep added to the adventure for sure! By the time lunch rolled around I was just trying to keep everything straight…

“OK, James and Abby can have baby carrots but Owen doesn’t have enough teeth. James wants a whole PB and J, Abby wants half. Abby wants canned corn...mmmm, don't know where a can opener is. Owen can’t have PB. The dog gets one scoop of food. Does anybody want chicken pot pie? Everybody says no. Everybody can have a cheese stick. James says he doesn’t want a cheese stick. I should cut it up for Owen. I’m starving. Wait, don’t give Owen the carrots…”

I threw some leftovers I found in the fridge in the microwave and hastily retrieved the bowl after the kids (and Jack) were served. I absentmindedly shoveled pot pie into my mouth hungrily for a couple of minutes, then looked at the bowl more carefully.

“This has a crust you idiot.”

…

“Oh well.”

And then I ate the rest. It was really good, and I was too tired to find something else to eat.

I’m happy to report that all survived the rest of the day, and we welcomed a new nephew safely into the Smith clan, albeit it a month early. I had the privilege and delight of taking Abby to the hospital to meet her baby brother for the first time. What a precious moment—made even more special for me because we weren’t allowed to bring James to meet Owen due to influenza concerns.

I got home around 7:30PM, put two exhausted boys to bed, and slumped into a chair. Roy entered, smiling and happy to be home from a concert. In his hand he held…

PIZZA?!

He got a whole pizza at the concert and brought it home. I was too tired to even care.

“Get two plates.”

I had a slice. It was already semi-stale and, honestly, disgusting. Totally not worth breaking the rules for. If I’m going to cheat it should at least be decent food, like the pot pie. So that was kind of dumb in hindsight. But I didn’t feel any differently that night after eating wheat. I continue to think it doesn’t really make much of a difference one way or the other, except that I tend to eat more healthily when there aren’t baked goods in the house. Ha—shocker!

Tonight I baked pizzas for us. I made a gluten free crust for myself out of a mix I picked up at Aldi on Monday. It wasn’t as bad as I thought! Was it a delicious chewy crust? No. But it was dense and hearty and was a worthy-enough vessel for sauce, cheese, and pepperoni. I’ll be glad to eat the leftovers. I bet people who couldn’t have gluten a hundred years ago didn’t have boxed mixes…all you GF peeps are pretty lucky these days.

We also went running this morning to the bank and stopped in at our local bakery. They had a few GF options and I chose a brownie, which was not wonderful, but tasted like a brownie. It was pretty good with some homemade chocolate ice cream.

Pizza and brownies and ice cream. Maybe I should go for another run…!

The weekend should be a challenge with church services and running here and there. We’ll see if I can think ahead enough to pack accordingly. Leftover pizza will help!