Anecdotes

I.                    “Hey Mommy, we are very close to the restaurant.”

“Which restaurant, James?”

“You know. The restaurant.”

“Do you mean Jitters? Or Tim Hortons?”

“I mean the one with the booster seats.”

“Oh. You mean the North Chili Family Restaurant! They make some good pancakes there.”

“Yeah.”

<long silence>

“Hey Mommy, I think we should EAT at the restaurant. Isn’t that a good idea? My treat.”

II.                  Me, “Owen, you got my phone again.”

Owen, “AHHH-dah!”

Siri, “Sorry Julie, I don’t know what you mean.”

Me, “It’s not me Siri, it’s Owen.”

Siri, “Should I call you Owen from now on?”

Me, “Sure. He talks to you more than I do.”

Siri, “OK. I’ll call you Owen from now on.”

A couple of days later:

Roy, “Hey, you know how Siri said she’d start calling you Owen? I have a bunch of emails in my inbox from Owen. I think she’s sending all your correspondence on his behalf.”

“Siri, call me Julie from now on.”

III.                Me, “Owen, it’s time to go brush teeth.”

Owen, “AHHHH-dah!!!!”

Me, “Why don’t you give James a goodnight hug?”

<Owen runs over and throws his arms around James. James gives him a big hug back and bends over and kisses the top of his head.>

Me, “Ahhh! You two are SOO sweet! You just melt my heart!”

<James abruptly cuts off the hug and looks at me in alarm>

“Are you OK Mommy? Why did your heart melt?”

Me, “It’s just an expression sweetie.”

James, “But. But…can you unmelt it?”

Me, stammering, “Well, saying ‘you melt my heart’ is just a way of saying you boys are so sweet. Like if I said ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a whole elephant.’ I really don’t want to eat an entire elephant—it’s just another way of saying I’m super hungry.”

James, “…. … … But is your heart going to be OK????”

Today’s 1%: The baking bread at home experiment is going so well that I tracked down a 25 lb bag of bread flour yesterday. Cost for a 5 lb bag at Wegmans: $3.99. Cost of 25 lb bag through Sam’s Club (thank you Grandma Joy): $6.49.