Thursday, September 29, 2011

Lasting impression...

There are people who have changed my life and the way I live it at a very real level.  Those people, in almost every circumstance, are teachers.  Music lessons, from an early age, became a chance to prove myself to my teachers…which probably isn’t the healthiest reason, but sure kept my rear in the practice room on the days that I would have rather been outside.  Winning the admiration of my teachers, and learning everything about who they were and how they taught has been a constant in my life.  And I thought when I got to college I had my “ideal” teacher pegged.  According to my whopping 18 years of life experience, the teacher who would best fit with my personality would:
·         Light a fire under me.
·         Accept nothing less than the best.
·         Provide positive feedback, but infrequently enough to make it special.  Encouragement was something to be earned.
·         Not be afraid to let me have it if I wasn’t meeting their standards.

I had a pretty passive flute teacher in middle school, and I quickly figured out the limits of what I could get away with.  It wasn’t uncommon for me to sight-read my way through a lesson and get everything checked off.  She treated me more like a friend than a student, but in ways that did nothing for my musical development.  My high school flute teacher knew better and didn’t put up with my nonsense.  She knew that I didn’t care a hoot about practicing flute compared with piano and wasn’t afraid to call me (or my mother) out on it.  She scared me, and I worked and respected her because of that. 

Then I got to college, and I decided that, even though I was 99.5% sure I wanted to be a pianist, I would continue taking flute lessons…mostly so I could participate in ensembles.  My college flute teacher proved to dispel every prior expectation and theory I thought I had about what makes a great teacher.  And, looking back, I am in awe of how she did it…

Diane is, in every regard, a pixie.  She is petite and cute and wears her hair in a bouncy brown bob.  She speaks with the wisdom of somebody who has taught for over thirty years and is equally adept at shooting the breeze with students forty years younger than her.  Her smile sparkles and her pout is irresistibly adorable.  Her playing is masterful, awash with color and concentration.  She may not have the longest performance vita of my past teachers, but I prefer her sound to any other, because it is simultaneously intense and inviting and intimate.

Diane is no drill sergeant.  When you enter her studio her first question is, “Sooo…how is Jules?”  And don’t you dare say, “Fine,” and leave it at that.  She needs to know.  Her pedagogy is built around the concept that every person has an individual voice—something unique to say through their music.  You have to understand yourself in order to understand your voice.  So her lessons are as focused on exploring the individual as much as they are about rhythms and technical challenges.  This takes time, and a focused effort to ask penetrating questions, something she excels in.

Diane is an encourager.  She builds up, probably because of her respect for the individual.  I didn’t feel like I needed to earn compliments from her, because she gave them readily and in all areas.  She quickly wiped that “need” out of my teacher-student game plan, which forced me to look beyond positive feedback for sources of nourishment.  In hindsight, this was brilliant on her part, as “earning” praise is essentially the equivalent to eating candy for dinner.  There is little to no depth or long-lasting significance found in it.  She made it clear that she valued me as a person and a musician early on, and we were able to address other needs in my playing and character that were, ultimately, far more beneficial.

Diane is brave.  She is a cancer survivor.  She has stood at the side of her husband faithfully, even as he fought his own battle with cancer.  She has faced career-threatening injuries and lived through those experiences with grace and a quiet strength.  She has witnessed countless emotional breakdowns of her students in their lessons, as her gentle questions often reveal the weaknesses and cracks in our walls.  It is then that she can truly teach, and she waits patiently for us to remove our masks so that permanent change can occur.

It was through Diane’s investment in me that I left the box of safe timidity and took chances, in life and in my music.  I opted to pursue an instrument that is far less lucrative, statistically speaking, because of the power it has to communicate.  Learning to speak intentionally and honestly through my breath, through my flute, is one of the most frightening and rewarding things I’ve experienced.  And I learned how to do that from a sprite of a woman who refused to use negativity or take advantage of her leadership role to accomplish her agenda.  I no longer study privately with Diane, but she has remained a dear friend and mentor.  She continues to inspire and challenge me and I am indebted to her for life.  Because, you see, she has helped me realize how special my life is.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Guest blog post #2


Friday:
Tonight Mommy played her flute with a whole lot of other musicians.  They were really loud.  There was a trumpet player who played by himself a lot and Daddy thought he was really good.  The music was so loud that the floor shook and it made me squirm.  There’s not very much room to kick anymore…

Saturday:
Mommy and Daddy went to a class in the morning where they watched some videos about babies being born.  Apparently I’m going to go on quite the journey in a few more weeks!  Mommy seemed relaxed throughout the morning, but she kept giggling at Daddy.  She said he squirmed more than I did!  Then they drove to some schools and walked around.  They called it “Homecoming.”  Mommy ate some delicious food and Daddy looked at books.  He does that a lot.  I don’t know how to read, but I listen to them read stories together every night before bed.  It helps me calm down.  Usually they laugh a lot when they read out loud, but now they are reading a new book called “The Everlasting Man.”  I don’t think it’s as funny as their last book.

Sunday:
Mommy went to her first baby shower today.  She kept bending over to pick up presents and kept squishing me.  When she does that a lot I make sure she remembers that I’m in here!  It sounded like there were lots of grandmas, aunts, and cousins and she kept talking about the wonderful gifts.  I heard her tell Daddy later that we got lots of handmade baby blankets and clothes for me.  I bet I’ll look pretty spiffy in my new clothes!  Daddy was happy about the shower, but he was much more excited about a football game.  I can’t wait to meet all of my family members.  They sound like they love me a lot and they seem to always have a good time together.  I can’t wait to watch my first football game either! 

Monday:
Today Mommy went for a checkup.  The doctor has a very nice and calm voice, but I can tell that Mommy gets a little nervous whenever she goes.  It’s because she wants me to be healthy.  They listened to my heartbeat and I was sure to show off some of my latest moves.  The doctor told Mommy that my head is pointing down.  I could have told Mommy that a long time ago…I can’t swim around anymore and I’m kind of stuck down here.  Apparently this is a good thing.

Tuesday:
Today was a wiggly day.  I was hyper all day long!  When I get hyper Mommy puts her hand close by to feel me move.  I like to perform my gymnastics for her, and I can make my knees and feet pop out into her hand.  I like that she knows where I am and that I am moving.  I got the hiccups a lot today too.  I get them every day now, but today they kept coming back.  Probably because I was so hyper!

Wednesday:
Mommy is thinking about me all day today.  She has been looking for baby things on the internet and apparently is searching for a special outfit just for me.  She says my Uncle Daniel is getting married at Christmastime and that I have to get dressed up.  Apparently she can’t find what she is looking for.  Her friend started helping her look today at work and they were making some progress.  They mentioned something about “double breasted jackets” and “functional pockets to hold a pacifier.”  That sounds pretty silly to me.  I’ll probably sleep through the wedding.  I have to sleep a lot so I can have lots of energy for wiggles when I’m awake!  Mommy also told me that she is making a special surprise for Daddy tonight when he gets home.  Daddy has to work a lot of different jobs and gets back late at night.  She tries to make home a special place for him so he can relax at the end of the day.  I think the surprise tonight might involve food, which is good, because Mommy will probably share some with me too!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Addendum...

An addition to a recent blog post...

21. If you need me to spell the name of the major that you want over the phone, you probably aren't going to be accepted into college.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sometimes emails make the best blogs...

Uh-oh Bekah, you have unleashed THE BEAST.  THE BEAST is also known as “the employee that doesn’t have enough to do.”  Long emails that may include a lot of information about nothing will flood your inbox and make you wish you had NEVER given me your contact information.  <stalks around office like a t-rex> 

OK.  Not really.  Unless walking around normally with a burgeoning baby boy makes me look like a t-rex, which probably isn’t terribly far from the truth…

And I have no clue if that’s a proper use for the word burgeoning.

Hmm.  Are you picking up on the following facts:
1.       I have little or nothing to do right now.
2.       I had chai 30 minutes ago and the sugar is making me think random thoughts and generally experience that medical ailment VWH and I refer to as “the wiggles.”
3.       The counselors are all in a meeting so I can’t be hyper with them.  And I certainly can’t be hyper with BossWoman.  So I am forced to be hyper in this email.

ANYHOO…how are ya?  Lovely to get your email this morning.  I read it over my bowl of frosted shredded wheat (Which is high in fiber.  Fiber is a pregnant woman’s best friend.) and was thankful for that when I burst out laughing at your final question.  If I had done that at work I would have been drawn some undesired attention.  Seriously, hardest I’ve laughed in a long time.  To answer your question I think you need to see a rough outline of a day at work:

7:55 AM.  Arrive at work, un-forward phone, attempt to say ‘hellos’ in a somewhat conscious, cheery voice.
8:30 AM.  Stretch break.  Get up and say ‘hi’ to whoever’s in the back.
9 AM.  Pee.
9:30 AM.  Stretch break.  Take a lap, drop off some mail, deliver mail, etc etc etc.
10:00 AM.  Chai tea!  The happiest part of my morning.  Usually involves a lengthy “conversation” with our receptionist in which I listen to her discuss her latest cooking triumphs or the many talents of her daughters.
10:30 AM.  Pee.
11:00 AM.  Go visit the counselors for a few minutes.
11:30 AM.  Start deliberating about eating lunch.  The deliberations don’t last long and I eat it.
12:00 PM.  Pee.  Lunch break, which means practice flute for an hour.  Best part of the day.
1:00 PM.  Pee.  Settle back in for the afternoon.  1-2 is office manager’s break so I usually get on my iPod and play Words With Friends/check Facebook.  I am a lousy employee.  But my work is done by that point so what else am I going to do?
2:00 PM.  Stretch break.  Go see counselors or maybe mother-in-law across the hall for a few minutes.  Drop off afternoon mail.
2:30 PM.  Start deliberating about afternoon snack.  See 11:30AM for results of deliberation.
3:00 PM.  Pee. 
3:30 PM.  Start counting down the minutes until 5PM.
4:00 PM.  Hope that my good friend Cheryl gets online so we can chat for the last hour of the day.  This has turned into a ritual that I’m afraid I count on too much.
4:30 PM.  Pee
5:00 PM.  Hallelujah! 

So…in summary that’s 6 “pees” in 9 hours.  Tack on a few more in the evening, at least one overnight, and one before work, and there you go.  I read recently that by the end of 9 months your bladder is squished to the size of a tablespoon.  I usually have to go during the listed times, although sometimes I just get up for a break.  If I don’t stretch twice an hour I pay for it at the end of the day.

This email is turning into a good blog entry.

We are having a pizza party today as a staff to celebrate a great recruitment year.  I like pizza, but don’t you think pizza party makes it sound like Chuck E. Cheese or something?  Haha.  Anyway, I have to forfeit my practice hour, so while I’m happy about not having to bring lunch, I’m a little bummed about that.  I enjoy my hour away from everybody.

Write back when you have time.  Way to go on getting that homework knocked out!  I must admit, I don’t expect your daily replies to keep up for long because soon you will have so many friends your homework won’t get done…  J  You popular thing you.

Lots of love from your,
Kindred Spirit