Uh-oh Bekah, you have unleashed THE BEAST. THE BEAST is also known as “the employee that doesn’t have enough to do.” Long emails that may include a lot of information about nothing will flood your inbox and make you wish you had NEVER given me your contact information. <stalks around office like a t-rex>
OK. Not really. Unless walking around normally with a burgeoning baby boy makes me look like a t-rex, which probably isn’t terribly far from the truth…
And I have no clue if that’s a proper use for the word burgeoning.
Hmm. Are you picking up on the following facts:
1. I have little or nothing to do right now.
2. I had chai 30 minutes ago and the sugar is making me think random thoughts and generally experience that medical ailment VWH and I refer to as “the wiggles.”
3. The counselors are all in a meeting so I can’t be hyper with them. And I certainly can’t be hyper with BossWoman. So I am forced to be hyper in this email.
ANYHOO…how are ya? Lovely to get your email this morning. I read it over my bowl of frosted shredded wheat (Which is high in fiber. Fiber is a pregnant woman’s best friend.) and was thankful for that when I burst out laughing at your final question. If I had done that at work I would have been drawn some undesired attention. Seriously, hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. To answer your question I think you need to see a rough outline of a day at work:
7:55 AM. Arrive at work, un-forward phone, attempt to say ‘hellos’ in a somewhat conscious, cheery voice.
8:30 AM. Stretch break. Get up and say ‘hi’ to whoever’s in the back.
9 AM. Pee.
9:30 AM. Stretch break. Take a lap, drop off some mail, deliver mail, etc etc etc.
10:00 AM. Chai tea! The happiest part of my morning. Usually involves a lengthy “conversation” with our receptionist in which I listen to her discuss her latest cooking triumphs or the many talents of her daughters.
10:30 AM. Pee.
11:00 AM. Go visit the counselors for a few minutes.
11:30 AM. Start deliberating about eating lunch. The deliberations don’t last long and I eat it.
12:00 PM. Pee. Lunch break, which means practice flute for an hour. Best part of the day.
1:00 PM. Pee. Settle back in for the afternoon. 1-2 is office manager’s break so I usually get on my iPod and play Words With Friends/check Facebook. I am a lousy employee. But my work is done by that point so what else am I going to do?
2:00 PM. Stretch break. Go see counselors or maybe mother-in-law across the hall for a few minutes. Drop off afternoon mail.
2:30 PM. Start deliberating about afternoon snack. See 11:30AM for results of deliberation.
3:00 PM. Pee.
3:30 PM. Start counting down the minutes until 5PM.
4:00 PM. Hope that my good friend Cheryl gets online so we can chat for the last hour of the day. This has turned into a ritual that I’m afraid I count on too much.
4:30 PM. Pee
5:00 PM. Hallelujah!
So…in summary that’s 6 “pees” in 9 hours. Tack on a few more in the evening, at least one overnight, and one before work, and there you go. I read recently that by the end of 9 months your bladder is squished to the size of a tablespoon. I usually have to go during the listed times, although sometimes I just get up for a break. If I don’t stretch twice an hour I pay for it at the end of the day.
This email is turning into a good blog entry.
We are having a pizza party today as a staff to celebrate a great recruitment year. I like pizza, but don’t you think pizza party makes it sound like Chuck E. Cheese or something? Haha. Anyway, I have to forfeit my practice hour, so while I’m happy about not having to bring lunch, I’m a little bummed about that. I enjoy my hour away from everybody.
Write back when you have time. Way to go on getting that homework knocked out! I must admit, I don’t expect your daily replies to keep up for long because soon you will have so many friends your homework won’t get done… J You popular thing you.
Lots of love from your,
Kindred Spirit
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