A one-legged dilemma

Sometimes I don't think anybody reads my blog, which is OK. I write mostly for my own pleasure and try not to put too much pressure on myself to please imaginary readers. But some of you must be out there, because we have gotten a SLEW of emails and messages from people letting us know what the best Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals are on KitchenAid stand mixers.

I, of course, was already keeping a sly eye out on the deals myself. (See: googling "Black Friday Kitchenaid 2015", downloading Kohls and Amazon apps, negotiating mentally how to justify such an enormous purchase.)

I PROMISE I haven't done anything out of the ordinary to my hand mixer in the past two weeks. Solemnly promise. But it must know that I've been mentally cheating on it with a KitchenAid, because it's started making funny noises. I have prided myself on taking good care of it, remembering numerous hand mixers burning up in my mom's kitchen. I think it's because we used to throw all of the good stuff (see: chocolate chips, whole oats, nuts) in there while it was running.

But my beloved, used since our wedding day, is giving up the ghost. In fact, we are down to one leg, so to speak.

Once again, Google has failed me in attaining a funny caption for a one-legged mixer that isn't offensive to other one-legged things.

It is no fun to make Christmas cookies on one leg. It takes forever and the flavors aren't nearly as balanced.

So Santa sent a messenger to me in a vision, telling me that, if I continued to change diapers regularly, sweep the downstairs, and cook stunning meals for my husband, my mixing needs would be addressed. 

And lo, there will be a rebate of $50, a coupon for 20% off, a second coupon for $10 off, a third coupon for $15 off, Kohl's cash in the amount of $75, and free shipping...

Santa was very specific.

My question is this: I really want to wait for Santa to come down my chimney on Christmas Eve and deliver unto me a delightful present. But, I'm not sure how to get to Christmas Eve with Hop-along Cassidy. James has a very long list of to-dos that require mixing (see: chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread cookies that jump out of the oven and run away, red and green M&M cookies, "chocolate bear Melissa cookies", etc, etc, etc). I realize I haven't gotten to the question yet, but it should be obvious.

To wait or not to wait? 

Santa's messenger said it was up to me.

Today's 1%: I did this today. 

A small piece of my heart died, but there was a little too much business-in-front/party-in-back going on. Also, of note, Curious George serves the second-born as nicely as the first when it comes to receiving haircuts. Thanks George.