"Alfred! I. Am. That. Hero!"

My childhood had a soundtrack. With two classically-trained parents, that's probably no surprise. But the music I heard wasn't typically that of Shostakovich or Bach. It was that of the Alfred piano series. My mom has always held a piano studio of several dozen students trickling through our house each week. There are seven levels in the traditional Alfred series--1A (orange), 1B (green), 2 (brown), 3 (yellow), 4 (pink), 5 (blue), and 6 (gold). If a student completes the entire set of levels they are playing Fur Elise and simple sonatinas on their own and ready to delve into more challenging classical music. I finished the Alfred series in record time (I think I was 9), partly because my mom is a piano teacher and largely because I knew how every song went before I ever tried it for myself.

I know the Alfred series inside and out. I know, without looking, every time signature, key, 8va, repeat sign, and introductory concept. I know which pieces get checked off in one week and which take upwards of a month ("Glow Worm" anyone?). I can tell, two floors away, when and where a student will mess up before they even get there. I have mentally assessed lessons my mom was teaching a room away and accurately guessed what their next week's assignment was without ever hearing a word exchanged. I say all of this not to brag--merely to demonstrate how omnipresent those songs were in my house.

Perhaps you could have guessed this, but I really don't like the Alfred series anymore. I've had my fill, and then some, many times over. But I use it with my small piano studio because it's easy to teach, kids do well with it, and it requires zero advanced-lesson planning on my part. I'm sure if I had more than a couple of students I would look elsewhere for fresher material, but, until then...

Enter COVID-19 and the age of Zoom, Facetime, and Google Hangout lessons. Enter inconsistent connections and double the ambient noises. Enter cooped-up kids and a teacher who no longer can see their music when they play.

Turns out I've been preparing for this my entire life.

I sat lazily on my couch yesterday, sipping a cup of coffee, watching a brother and sister plow through their piano assignments on my phone. I can't see much beyond their torso and part of a left hand. (And occasionally their 3 year old sister, who keeps sneaking in and sticking her head in front of the camera.) 

"OK Micah--so let's go back to the third line, second measure. Look carefully at the second beat in your left hand. That note isn't a D. What is it? ... Very good!" Let's pick up at the start of that measure and keep going."

"Nice job overall Lydia! I love how you played with stylistic articulation and took the repeats throughout. Let's try the B section again and this time don't forget the 8va in the right hand."

"Now, before we sightread this let's remember that the left hand actually begins in the treble clef, so double check that you have it in the correct position!"

I logged out after an hour and turned to Roy, who was arranging yet another movie score next to me. "Sometimes I impress myself." He smiled (and inwardly rolled his eyes I'm sure).

It's worth noting that this is, for all other intents and purposes, a useless skill--this total memorization and fluency with Sir Alfred. So...thanks coronavirus (?) for giving me pretty much the one chance to make use of it.