Today the college wind ensemble leaves on a week-long tour down south. They’ll dip all the way into the Gulf of Mexico before starting the long journey back to the frozen tundra. I am mostly jealous. I’ve been on eight tours myself with various ensembles and the experiences have been mixed. Depending on the group, roommate, time of year, and bus conditions, your tour experience could be a highlight of the year, or a low point of your entire life. It’s a risk I took at least once every year while in college (not that I had any choice) and usually it paid off. Watching the group leave this morning brought some memories to mind, so I thought I’d share a few of the high and lowlights of tours past…
Highlight #1: Days off. Most tours I’ve been on gave the ensemble one day off, usually in a major city. Days off have led to excellent experiences in places like New York City and Washington DC. I’ve been to museums, the Metropolitan Opera, seen the Liberty Bell, and ridden more subway systems than I ever would have on my own thanks to tours. Exploring our nation’s history, even in the middle of February, has been worthwhile.
Lowlight #1: Days off. Letting students off the leash during their free time can have disastrous results. I’ve watched people get in shouting matches, lost members of the group for extended periods of time, and personally had to escort a very sick individual around NYC all day in sub-zero degree temperatures. Our poor-college-student status means we are stuck outside most of the time and this has the potential to become miserable quickly. Free museums with heating or AC, depending on the time of year, are a must.
Highlight #2: Roommates. I’ve had some first-rate roommates. I have fond memories of staying up late in various host homes unburdening our souls to one another. When you have a good seatmate the hours on the bus pass quickly and with much laughter. Plus, when you experience the inevitable trials and tribulations that occur from forcing 50+ people to co-exist together on a bus, you have a shoulder to lean on.
Lowlight #2: Roommates. While I’ve had some great ones, I’ve also had some that surprised me. I prided myself on scouting out the options and choosing a friend with low potential for drama. I usually did OK, but there were two tours in particular when I got trapped. I had a roommate who talked incessantly to whatever was within sight. (This didn’t seem to be the case before or after the tour itself…perhaps she was nervous.) She talked to me, to herself, and to her toothbrush. She talked late at night when I wanted to go to sleep and she talked early in the morning when she awoke at least an hour before I even remotely desired to embrace consciousness. The other roommate was basically a walking incubus of plague the entire time who hated being on tour anyway. ‘Nuff said.
Highlight #3: Host homes. 95% of the families that host you overnight are the friendliest, most wonderful, and oftentimes, richest, people you’ll ever stay with. I’ve been spoiled with separate suites adjacent to the house, hot tubs, bed and breakfasts, and in one especially marvelous instance, my own house. The breakfasts in the morning are multi-course, fresh, organic feasts. The hosts understand that by the time you get to their house at 10:30 pm you’re exhausted and hungry after being on a bus and playing a couple of concerts that day, so they give you the TV remote and permission to eat whatever, wherever before you crash on a lush, feather mattress. Ahhhhh.
Lowlight #3: Host homes. Gee whillikers have there been some doozies. The very first host home I ever stayed in offered me and my roommate angel food cake and salsa-that-tasted-like-tomato-soup upon our arrival. Not exactly a gourmet combination. A year or so later, we stayed in bunk beds in a small bedroom decorated with Disney princesses. Not the end of the world, except there was a Jack Russell terrier pawing incessantly at the door. Apparently this little guy was in heat and thought our presence was a great chance to expend some extra pent-up energy. But the award to the worst house has to go to an apartment I stayed in my senior year. Newly married couple, small apartment, and three cats the size of wolverines. The cats dominated the place and had no problem with clawing around your lap while you were trying to choke down a bowl of cereal. The living room looked OK (except for the cat hair), but the rest of the flat was another story. Wife escorted us to the guest room, which was a small daybed covered, and I mean covered in stuffed animals. We counted well over 100. The room, which was closer to the size of a closet, couldn’t accommodate us and the stuffed animals and the bed, so we were forced to lie among them. And the bathroom…well, let’s just say the shower had 2 inches of gray, hairy water in it and the toilet seat was wet. Needless to say, it was sweet relief to get back to the group the next morning…
Highlight #4: Weenie points. I’ll end with a highlight because tours really are a ton of fun. The college wind ensemble keeps tallies of the dim-witted things people do or say during tour and each morning they’re shared for the benefit of all over the loudspeaker on the bus. I was fortunate to not have to experience this embarrassment too many times, but I was present for some other people’s stupidity. Like watching people enter the wrong bathroom and walk out with mortified expressions. Or having the entire brass section swap tux pants around to cover for the one extra-tall trumpet player who forgot his. Or seeing our bus driver trick a particularly vulnerable flute player into answering a pay phone in the middle of nowhere. Or having a friend in an ancient church bathroom mutter to me, “J, it smells like old people in here,” and then watching a 90+ year old woman exit the adjacent stall with daggers in her eyes.
So you see, I am happy for my friends leaving for tour today. Part of me wishes I was with them. Part of me is glad I’ll just hear about it later. But I wish them safe travels and that, for better or for worse, they’ll make their own memories that will last a lifetime.
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