Post #100!

Subtitle: "On perfecting the MACCHIATO"

VWH is a coffee snob.  He drinks two carafes (it should be noted that in this blog you will see that I’ve picked up a wealth of vocabulary due to the aforementioned husband) of French press coffee a day.  We buy whole bean coffee that is freshly ground on our kitchen counter. The other day we were talking with somebody who discussed enjoying “gourmet Folgers coffee.”  VWH had to turn away to hide his smile.  He insists that I will end up drinking coffee someday.  I tell him he is crazy.  When we were first married I couldn’t even tolerate the smell of coffee.  (One of those for better or for worse things.)  Not a tea drinker either, I opted for hot chocolate or chai lattes if I wanted something hot. 

But then we moved back to upstate New York, where there is winter for 7 months a year and a coffee shop on every corner.  It became a desperate situation.  I was cold, darn it!  And I didn’t want to drink hot chocolate multiple times a week for the rest of my life.  It should be noted that I maintained my coffee virginity for over 5 years of marriage, a feat that I think ought to be commended.

 

My slow descent into the land of the beans is, of course, not my fault whatsoever.  I blame VWH for drinking vats of coffee around me.  I blame a dear friend from my camp counseling days, who told me about Starbuck’s salted caramel hot chocolate, which I indulged in several years ago and thoroughly enjoyed.  I then blame another dear friend, a barista at Starbucks, who informed me pf salted caramel mochas, which is basically sin in a cup.  I blame my pastor, who drinks caramel macchiatos and frequently uses them in sermon illustrations, essentially equating them to spiritual awakenings.

So when I tried the salted caramel mocha last year and it was delicious, I naturally wanted to figure out if I could make it at home.  This led to the purchase of a relatively inexpensive moka pot, which allows us to make espresso on the privacy of our stove top.  I also attempted to make my own caramel sauce on the same stove top, which was a disaster worthy of a separate entry.  So the moka pot was put away, and my first foray into coffee labeled a failure.

The same barista who introduced me to salted caramel mochas also is to blame for informing me about Tim Horton’s English Toffee cappuccino.  Less than half the cost of a pricey Starbucks drink, and the same wallop of caffeine!  All of the sudden my worship team rehearsals had more energy, my house was cleaner, and, quite frankly, I was a happier person.  The results couldn’t be ignored.

The English Toffee-Sunday-morning habit set me down the path, once again, towards experimenting with various coffee-based beverages.  I tried the sacred caramel macchiato, and its new twin, the hazelnut macchiato, which in my-honest-but-correct-opinion, wiped the caramel’s floor in sweet, nutty goodness.  Running errands became more tolerable if there was a coffee shop nearby.  “I deserve a $4 hot drink because of fill in the blank with some overly pathetic, yet at the time perfectly valid, excuse.” 

Yet, I knew I couldn’t keep it up.  We aren’t made of money, or espresso.  We dragged out the moka pot once again, and I remembered that once upon a time my best friend (also a former barista) had gotten me a milk frother for a birthday present.  Lo and behold, it creates delicious foam in steamed milk, which is a necessity for lattes and macchiatos.  

The internet provided recipe guides for making your own macchiatos, which looked pretty doable.  The past week or two I’ve been experimenting.  VWH has been a supportive husband in helping me make espresso in the moka pot, even though he won’t touch my beverage because it’s far too girly for a manly French press tough guy. 

My first recipe used 6 ounces of brewed coffee instead of espresso, and I thought it would be a lot easier than having to use the moka pot.  It was OK, but the drink seemed too watery without the larger proportion of milk.  Then we tried it with espresso, and it was closer, but the recipe we were using called for caramel syrup in the bottom instead of the vanilla syrup Starbucks used.  The result was a drink too bitter at the top and waaay too sticky-sweet at the bottom.

So I decided to make my own vanilla syrup.  This, for those of you who are still with me, is what leads me to today.  I made the syrup (equal parts of water and sugar, simmered for a few minutes, with vanilla extract added) successfully on the first try and set it to cool.  VWH offered to make espresso while I steamed the milk.  I wanted to practice steaming it on my own and getting it hot without boiling, which is harder than it looks when you only have a pot and a handheld milk frother.  The idea is to get the milk done right before the espresso so you can pour the milk into the cup, then add the freshest shot of espresso you can get. 

Things were going splendidly.  The milk was frothed (I hate that word, by the way) and I was just waiting a smidge longer for it to be warmer than room temperature.  I walked over to the sink to check something and in those 10 seconds the entire pot just…erupted.  There was milk everywhere…I had no idea it could be so invasive.  And, of course, since I had recently made vanilla syrup and the moka pot was on the back burner, the milk burned itself to every hot surface it could reach.  We cleared out the area as best as we could but attempt number one was an utter disaster.  VWH poured the spoiled espresso down the drain and settled down with his own carafe of perfect coffee. 

I'm afraid it was far worse than this picture that I found on the internet.  Much, much worse.

I opened the fridge.  He looked at me wearily.  “Are you getting some cake?” he asked hopefully.  “Nope!  The milk!  I’m trying again!”  His tired eyes clearly said, “that’s what I was afraid of.”  I assured him I could do it myself and would only ask questions if I got stuck.  He obviously didn’t trust me, because he generously hopped up and helped me clean the moka pot and showed me how to grind the coffee beans and prep the process once again.

This time I barely blinked as I frothed.  I watched the clock like a hawk.  Here is what I discovered (perhaps the entire purpose of this entry is to immortalize the following formula…):

It takes approximately 4 and a half minutes on my stove setting ‘8’ to steam milk successfully without boiling.  The moka pot takes 4 minutes on 8 to make espresso.  The order of the drink is : 2T of vanilla syrup in cup, 1 cup of steamed milk (2% if you have it, but I don’t so I did 1% with a splash of whole milk), 3 ounces of espresso, and a drizzle of caramel syrup on the top, ala Starbucks.  And it WORKED!  I’ve been enjoying it the past half-hour and calculating how much I saved by doing it at home.  (Not counting the first attempt, of course.)  At somewhere around 220 calories, it’s not an every-day thing, but I’d rather have a long, hot beverage than a piece of cake.

So, strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, friends.  I’ll keep you posted if I start drinking coffee black, straight from the carafe.  I highly doubt it.  But, according to VWH, I’m already halfway down the path of no return.  I’ve gotta say, it’s a yummy path.

Ta-da!  A fitting way to celebrate 100 blog posts!