Student: “I can imitate any animal! Ask me for any animal sound!”
Teacher: “How about a giraffe in space”
Student: “I can combine breeds too! Ask me about any two dogs!”
Teacher: “A poodle and a lab mix in space.”
Student: “Why do you love space so much?”
Teacher: “There are no children there.”
“I ran out of things to do with my 2nd grade class so I taught them Ubbi Dubbi (Turkey Talk). They thought it was the coolest thing ever and managed to acquire a rough working knowledge of it before the end of the day. Now it’s spread throughout the school and I get dirty looks from various staff members when I show up to sub. Also, it somehow has turned from Ubbi Dubbi into Hobby Wobby.”
Teacher to me via text message: “Quick! What’s x3y2z9/x5y2z3?
Me: “Umm. 54xyz/30xyz. Or 9/5.
Teacher to me: “No! The numbers were exponents! Help—I’m in class and I have no clue what to do!”
Me: <Puts head down on desk and laughs.>
“I once subbed for a fifth grade English class. Their assignment was to work quietly writing a paragraph about some topic…I don’t remember what it was about. Anyway, kids these days all have hand-held spell checkers. The class worked relatively quietly, with the only noise being the computerized, monotone voice of their spell checkers pronouncing words. “Coun-ty…” “Cha-rac-ter…” “Boob…” “Boob.” “Boob. Boob. Boob. Boob. Boob…” Needless to say, the class was gone for the rest of the period.
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