Today I’m going to write about one of my nearest and dearest friends. Somebody who knows me inside and out, for better and for worse, and still seems to think that I’m a decent person. And seriously, when you consider the things I’ve forced this person to do, that’s saying a lot. This person is my brother, whose identity I will not reveal except to say that I am one of a proud few who is allowed to call him by his full name which is Daniel.
Daniel was born two years after me in the boonies of Pennsylvania. (I was born in the boonies of West Virginia, but then my folks decided to get in touch with culture, so they moved to Wells Tannery, PA. It was not a big step in the right direction.) Our other brother, Tim, was born a year or so later, but I will write about him another time. He is also one of my nearest and dearest friends, but I just chatted with Daniel online so he’s on the brain. Daniel, by default, became my best buddy after his birth. I am told that I was initially pretty reluctant about his presence, not being a sharer by nature, but after he started to hold his head up I realized the vast potential in having another kid around.
Daniel and I were both pretty quiet when we were little, at least until Tim was born (again, more on that later), but that doesn’t mean we didn’t connive. Yes indeed, we got in our fair share of trouble, particularly in the grocery store, which is a treasure trove of tactile delights for tykes. (Behold, a tongue-twister is born.) We wanted to touch everything, even after being told repeatedly that things were, quite literally, hands-off. In hindsight, I blame my mom a little bit because she only shopped once a month for groceries, so it was a most-of-the-day event. I see her logic though when I consider how our behavior nose-dived whenever we walked (…ran…) through those sliding doors. We would get back from the store(s), eat lunch, and await the inevitable discipline being doled out upstairs. Being the oldest, I went last and had to sit at the kitchen table forever, awaiting my fate, bravery weakening by the second.
I’m afraid I took my oldest sibling status a little too seriously at times. Now that Daniel is an overly confident grownup, he will remind me of my many “flaws.” He says I was bossy and tattled a lot. I like to think I had a heart for justice, but all I can do is think it because he is way taller and more muscled than me. Gone are the days when I could take on both my brothers and destroy them in wrestling. But, back then, I could convince Daniel that playing with Barbies was cooler than Tonka trucks. We practiced vaulting over the laundry baskets and did figure skating routines in the living room (he being the girl since he was a lot lighter and I could lift him up and spin him around). There’s a picture of us, no older than 2 and 4, dressed as…pioneers I think?? But we were obviously going for Laura and Mary, not Laura and Pa, if you get my drift. He did what I did, because he was that sweet and selfless (certainly not because I was that bossy).
Daniel’s always looked out for me, even as the younger one. We stayed close as teenagers, going to movies together and making time to talk in the midst of our whacked-out hormones. He wouldn’t speak to VWH for a year after we began dating because he was my watchman, my protector. And when I treated Daniel like dirt a few weeks before our wedding, because of stress and other issues which are not excuses, he was devastated. I have absolutely taken advantage of our relationship at times and, while I can laugh at our childhood antics, will forever have a scar from some of the things I did to him later in life.
Now he’s getting married. His wife-to-be is beautiful, charming, and everything I could hope for him. But I worry a little bit that we won’t be as close after he belongs to her (as he rightfully should). My prayer is that we continue in our closeness, even as we begin our own families and lives in separate states. And I hope that I can still be his big sister, no matter the changes that befall us.
That being said, I should grab that pioneer picture and make sure it shows up in his reception slideshow…
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