Wednesday, November 3, 2021

Worship Value: Music (Preached 10/17/21)

 I sat perched on the end of my bed, cassette player in hand. 90.5, WCRH was on the radio and I was waiting, oh so patiently, for my new favorite song to come on. Eventually I heard the first few familiar notes and immediately mashed down the “record” button of my little cassette player. As a girl this was a great way to rip songs right off the radio, saving me the $17 it would cost to purchase the CD with the same track. Yes, it might take hours for that specific song to come on, but my cassette player never failed me!

 

Over the past couple of decades, advances in digital technology and streaming services have rendered the game of scanning radio stations searching for favorite songs obsolete. We can largely listen to whatever music we are in the mood for, whenever we want!

 

These days in my family we have a different musical game we play called “Jukebox.” We take turns on car trips calling out favorite songs to stream via our Spotify account. Selections range from Bruckner’s 8th Symphony to VBS songs to The Mandalorian theme song to Stevie Wonder. We love Jukebox, because everybody gets a turn to hear what they love, and nobody has to wait for the radio.

 

As a music and worship director, I’ve observed people bent out of shape over the music of a worship service more than any other element. I’ve watched people leave church communities because they didn’t like the music anymore, or “church shop” until they find a church with music they did like. I’ve been privy to countless tidbits of “feedback” that often boil down to personal preference. “Too old! Too new! Too loud! Too soft! Too simple! Too complicated! Too many instruments! Not enough instruments! More cowbell!” Our culture increasingly values preference, choice, and individual freedom. But consumer preference doesn’t work in a corporate worship context! I think the church has too often forgotten the purpose and role of music in corporate worship. What incredible things would happen if we could agree on some principles here and live into them? The beauty of having Music as a Worship Value at Perinton Presbyterian is that it provides us that very opportunity.

 

Here is the definition of Music as a Worship Value at PPC:

We value Music that Resonates with Body and Soul with a universal language, emotional engagement, and theological soundness.

Music serves to worship our Lord through praise, joy, confession, lament, and thankfulness. We value music from all ages and cultural expressions. Music is a form of worship that serves in a unique way with hearts, voices, and musical instruments, enabling us to praise the Lord as a rejoicing body.

I’m about to make an honest confession here. Brace yourselves. I was initially skeptical about music being one of our worship values. And I’m the MUSIC DIRECTOR. But I think--Biblical value? Absolutely! Sacramental? Yep! Intergenerational? All aboard. But…music? Why music and not sculpture or basketball or bricklaying?

 

I think the key is in the verb: music serves. Music serves in a unique way.

 

Constance Cherry, one of my favorite worship theologians, is professor of Worship and Pastoral Ministry at Indiana Wesleyan University. She writes in her book, The Music Architect,

 

“The role of music in worship is to facilitate the proclamation and celebration of the story of God… Music cannot operate independently from the ultimate purpose of worship, a purpose that it should support in every way. It does not play a role until itself. In worship, music cannot be employed for music’s sake. Music, therefore, is placed in service to worship, not the other way around.”

 

When we view music as a unique, beautiful tool to communicate God’s truths, to join our voices together to praise our Creator, to confess and lament and give gratitude…it places it in a healthy context. Just as an example, look at how music SERVES our other worship values:

 

Music serves Biblical Worship

·       We hear more of God’s word through excellent worship music! And music is a wonderful memory tool!

o   VBS songs/armor of God, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, books of the Bible.

 

Music serves Sacramental Worship

·       Music brings emotional engagement to the holy sacraments of Communion and Baptism. And if you think of some of the other sacraments in other traditions—weddings and funerals—it’s almost impossible to fathom these ceremonies without the universal language of music bringing us together.

 

Music serves Intergeneration/Ability-Inclusive Worship

·       Corporate worship through music is the single time of the week when we lay aside our style and genre preferences to sing with our family. And it fosters this gorgeous, amazing sense of community! Look around you this morning—what can be more beautiful than seeing multiple generations of the same family singing together in church?!

·       Music gives us unique ways to include those with differing abilities. Remember Matthew Kulp up here just a few weeks ago, sharing “Jesus Loves Me” with us singing? That was a powerful moment!

 

Music serves Responsive Worship

·       We do this ALL THE TIME. Gloria Patri, Doxology, Go Out and Serve Him, Sermon response. God initiates and we cannot help but respond in song!

·       You should know that your pastors and music director are extremely intentional when we select songs each week to ensure they respond to what we have heard from God. Sometimes this comes at the cost of familiarity, but it’s because we believe strongly in the alignment of song serving scripture.

 

So, to sum up this first point. Do we want old or new? No, we want Biblical! Do we want loud or soft music? No, we want sacramental. Do we want simple or complicated music? We want intergenerational and ability-inclusive. Do we want lots or few instruments? No, we want responsive. In our worship, consumer preference is laid aside for music that serves.

 

The second key principle I want to lean into this morning is that music is a corporate undertaking. Music is corporate. It is for all of us.

 

Some of you LOVE music and you LOVE to sing—in your car, in the shower, into your hairbrush. And some of you go the entire week without singing a single note—and the thought of doing so on Sunday morning around a whole lot of other people is pretty terrifying. That’s OK! You are perfectly fine and normal to feel that way! But, know this--corporate music is not just for people who like singing, or for me, or for Ivanka, or for our choir. In fact, the role of the church choir is to model and encourage the rest of the congregation to join in the song! Did you know that? It really is! We practice and pray every week that the Lord would use our voices to lead the week’s music clearly and effectively.

 

This morning’s scripture passages highlight the call to corporate singing across the entire Biblical record.

 

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
    Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his[
a];
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.


For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

 

This is a corporate psalm. The psalmist is exhorting a GROUP, an intergenerational group I might add, to come before the Lord with joyful songs!

 

Ephesians 5:19-20

19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

It’s hard to sing to one another when you are by yourself, or if you “don’t sing.”

 

Revelation 5:9-12

And they sang a new song, saying:

“You are worthy to take the scroll
    and to open its seals,
because you were slain,
    and with your blood you purchased for God
    persons from every tribe and language and people and nation.
10 You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God,
    and they will reign[
a] on the earth.”

11 Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. 12 In a loud voice they were saying:

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
    to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
    and honor and glory and praise!”

 

We see in the Psalms, in Ephesians, in Revelation—throughout the entire arc of scripture, groups of people compelled to sing God’s grand story for creation. And if you think that 100 million angels in Revelation all knew how to carry a tune or keep a steady beat…doubtful! And yet, this is our model for magnificent corporate worship!

 

Now, I want to be clear here—you do not have to be in the choir to participate in corporate worship. Lest you think this entire sermon is a big advertisement to “join choir”—it is not. What I want to challenge each of us on is to examine our current relationship with corporate music—are we all contributing in healthy ways from wherever we are in this sanctuary?

 

Consider, if you will, my husband. Just this summer we were gifted some amazing Red Wings baseball game tickets from Bill and Jill Hammond. We experienced a lovely evening at the ballpark together. We held hands. He put his arm around my shoulder. We watched the game, breathed in the fresh air, shared some great food, and enjoyed a child-free evening out on the town. We were spectators consuming a very pleasant experience.

 

Now, consider, if you will, my same husband…but this time, consider him at a Buffalo Bills home game. In December. Against the Patriots. There is no food-savoring, there is no fresh air, there is no hand holding, there is no casual “watching.” No! There is nail biting and breath holding, there is hollering, there are high fives and chest bumps. There is no casual spectating. But, let me tell you, when Roy’s yelling and urging joins 72,000 other rabid, screaming fans, and when they draw the Patriots offside with all that crowd noise, to them it’s ALL WORTH IT. They might not have been on the field making the tackles, but they didn’t just watch either. They participated, they contributed, and they made a difference.

 

My hope for Perinton Presbyterian is that those of us who are “already in the game”—who sing in the choir or play handbells or participate in other musical ways—would continually and intentionally strive for the Spirit’s guidance and servants’ hearts in our ministry. And I also hope that those of us who may be pleasantly observing a nice experience on Sunday mornings will be willing and ready to get in the game. Let’s sing like it’s third and long!

 

Soli deo gloria.

 

Saturday, June 12, 2021

Break the MAF

 

Panek’s strawberries. First fruit in two weeks. Perfection. 

MAF Day 14

 Breakfast: this, c&c

Lunch: one last salmon salad, cold brew w/ almond milk

Dinner: Moroccan tagine w/ lamb meatballs. Served over cauliflower rice. 

Snack: more tagine. 

Workout: day off. Strawberry Festival 8K “tomorrow!” (Even though I’m actually posting this a day late.)

Thursday, June 10, 2021

MAF Day 13

 Breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, sautéed peppers and onions w/ fresh basil. C&C

Lunch: Mediterranean salmon salad (greens, salmon, olives, tomatoes, pea pods, feta, lemony dressing)

Dinner: chicken and mushroom “pasta” (served over spaghetti squash)

Currently: sipping a gin and seltzer. 

Workout: long 3.5 mile ramble. Off for another 3 miler with James here momentarily. This perfect sunshine cannot be denied!

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

MAF Day 12



 Breakfast: tuna salad over spinach w/ pickled onions. C&C.

Lunch: salmon salad w/ all the things; cold brew w/ almond milk


Snack: pistachios

Dinner: shakshuka (a ton of shakshuka), gin w/ seltzer. 

Workout: 8 mile run. New PR!! Lungs and legs great. Feeling knees and hips a little at the end. Reminder to save long runs for once, maaayyybe twice a week. 

Tuesday, June 8, 2021

MAF Day 11

 Breakfast: tuna salad w/ homemade mayo in a collard green wrap w/ spinach and pickled onions. C&C

Lunch: burger collard wrap, slaw, pea pods

Snacks: cold brew w/ almond milk; seltzer w/ gin

Dinner: lemony basil avocado chicken over spaghetti squash, roasted broccoli

Looks kind of gross. Tasted GREAT.

Workout: 2 mile walk. Tomorrow’s a new PR in the making. We can do hard things! 

Monday, June 7, 2021

MAF Day 10

 Breakfast: last of the frittata, coffee w/ collagen

Lunch: salad w/ salmon, avocado, veg, parsley, pickled onions, blue cheese dressing (low-carb find)

Snacks: square of 85% dark chocolate; bowl of raw veg


Dinner: burger wrap (blanched collard green leaf w/ avocado, cheddar, mustard, pickled onions); Asian slaw w/ rice vinegar and sesame oil.


Workout: 4 mile run. Hard today, probably because I rolled out of bed onto the treadmill directly without any food or water. Won’t be doing that this Saturday for our 8K.

Sunday, June 6, 2021

MAF Day 9

 Breakfast: frittata, coffee w/ collagen

Lunch: Salad w/ chicken, avocado, veg, lemony dressing

Dinner: Roasted salmon, sautéed collards and kale, roasted peppers w/ capers and anchovy. 



Workout: day off! Sauntered around the neighborhood and had a dance party with Felix, so just a “normal” mom kind of a day.



Saturday, June 5, 2021

MAF Day 8

 Breakfast: spinach artichoke frittata w/ an almond meal and thyme crust. ‘‘Twas OK. 

Lunch: big old Southwestern salad with all the things

Snack: almonds

Dinner: chicken skewers, hamburger on lettuce wrap w/ cheese, tomatoes, mustard. Lots of fresh veg. Passed on ice cream cake...that was hard. 

Workout: 6 miles. Hit my groove at mile 4 and could have kept going for a long while.

Friday, June 4, 2021

MAF Day 7



Breakfast: Keto waffle w/ fried egg. Sweet it was not, but it was crispy and fluffy and nutty. 

Lunch: Chicken, egg, roasted broccoli and asparagus. All tossed in lemony dressing.

Dinner: this beaut from my bestie in NC. Eggplant, onions and garlic, tomatoes, spices...over cauliflower rice. Surprisingly filling! 

Workout: 3 mile run, plus bathing Owen and Felix. (It totally counts.) Felt a LOT better today and the three miles went by easily. 6 planned for tomorrow—hopefully we’re over the hump!


Thursday, June 3, 2021

MAF Day 6

 Breakfast: this



Lunch: this (well, half of this)


Snacks: pistachios; a few pieces of chicken breast as I prepped dinner

Dinner: steak, roasted zucchini w/ Parmesan, roasted broccoli, raw veg. I probably ate 2 zucchini’s worth of zucchini. 

Workout: day off. I took a nap and generally embraced the sluggishness. Apparently two low days are expected so here’s hoping tomorrow levels out a bit. For someone who doesn’t eat refined carbs and generally eats pretty healthy I’m surprised at how blah I feel with this single change. I’ll be ready to eat some fruit and brown rice again, but I’m taking notes too. 

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

MAF Day 5

 Breakfast: soft-boiled eggs and avocado over sautéed kale. Topped w/ sriracha Mayo. Coffee w/ collagen. 

Workout: 6 miles. Sluggish and hard today.

Lunch: massive salad w/ veg, chicken, avocado, cheese, Albion salsa ;) and dressing. 

Snack #1: almond milk, pea pods, pecans

Snack #2: pistachios

Snack #3: an apple. Because I couldn’t stand it anymore and was so drop-dead out of it I wasn’t thinking clearly. Much better within an hour. Carbs matter friends. Back to your regularly scheduled eating plan...

Dinner: Date Night In: Mussels in a fennel cream sauce; arugula salad w/ mustard vinaigrette. Gibson on the side. I finally feel kind of full.


Snack #4: bowl of raw veg to crunch before bed. 

Here’s to more energy tomorrow...

MAF Day 4

 Whoops. Forgot to post this yesterday. Completely aware that these are the most boring posts for anybody who reads this. It's for my own reference/posterity. :)

Breakfast: Leftover roasted Brussels, bacon, pecans, balsamic. Peapods. Coffee w/ collagen.

Lunch: Southwestern salad (greens, pork, avocado, peppers, cherry tomatoes, salsa, southwestern dressing). Shaken not stirred. ;)

Snack: Pistachios

Dinner: Arugula salad w/ shredded cabbage, chicken, pecans, goat cheese, and a lemony sunshine dressing.

Workout: 2.5 slow run; walk outdoors with the kids. Took it easy for tomorrow's (Wednesday) long run.





Monday, May 31, 2021

MAF Day 3

 Breakfast: omelet w/ avocado, swiss, and leftover roasted veg from supper. Didn’t feel as hungry mid-morning today, for whatever reason.

Lunch: roasted Brussels sprouts w/ bacon, toasted pecans, and balsamic. Plus fresh veg (pea pods, carrots, cucumbers, grape tomatoes); cold brew w/ almond milk.

Snack: celery w/ almond butter

I accidentally popped a squishy strawberry in my mouth when slicing a quart for the boys’ supper. Whoops!

Dinner: Hamburger w/ cheese and avocado. Salad w/ lemon dressing and more salad w/ roasted fennel and anchovy dressing. 

Workouts: 4 mile run; 2.5 mi hike. Run took a bit to get going, but then fine. Hike felt suuuuper easy, including some steep elevation.

Sunday, May 30, 2021

MAF Day 2

 Breakfast: omelette with avocado, sautéed spinach, and cheese. Filling in theory. Starving by 10AM.

Lunch: leftover meatballs and sauce; spaghetti squash. Inhaled. Felt nice and drowsy afterward. Insert Sunday afternoon nap...

Dinner: Favorite arugula salad w/ roasted broccoli and peppers, chicken, avocado, feta, pepitas, sun-dried tomatoes w/ adobo balsamic dressing. Very happy.



Workout: Plyometrics (cross training day) Not running isn’t as much fun, but the workout was fine. So far feeling good and not grumpy from lack of carbs/sugar. Onward!

Saturday, May 29, 2021

Two Week MAF Method

 The challenge: fuel your body with protein, fats, and veg to the exclusion of grains, potatoes, sugar, milk, and fruits. See if exercising changes as your body is forced to use fats over carbs in workouts. Fat burns longer, so theoretically this should be a win. But I really love fruit...

Breakfast: some chicken, pea pods, and red pepper slices. I was still pretty full from my epic farewell to carbs the night before.

Lunch: GF turkey meatballs in arrabiata sauce over spaghetti squash w/ California blend veggies. A familiar recipe, just swapped the Panko for almond meal. Delicious!

Dinner: Big ol’ salad with chicken, avocado, tomatoes, pickled onions w/ balsamic dressing.

Workout: 6 mile run. Felt easy, but I hadn’t run in 3 days so I was bound to feel fresh.

Sunday, May 9, 2021

Mother's Day 2021

 

Breakfast in bed. Well...actually this specific setting became Roy's breakfast.
Mine was just as delicious, if not quite as fancy-looking.

  • Enjoyed breakfast in bed, which I had prepared the day before and given Roy specific instructions for serving ahead of time. The idea of eating in bed is novel, but when you have three little boys sitting with you watching every bite and sip, eagerly waiting for you to finish so you can get them theirs...well, it loses a little of its charm.
  • Served as music director, church pianist, and wedding singer at church this morning. Our hired pianist was off this week so I stepped in. As for the wedding singer part, as Roy said, "So Harry's preaching this weekend, huh?" I thought I'd never top playing "My Heart Will Go On" one summer Sunday at Pearce, but today I belted out Tina Turner and Elton John, so all bets are off. Hope Harry was happy with his live-and-in-person sermon illustration.
  • Nap. Nap. NAP! I took a two hour nap under my weighted blanket with the mattress warmer on. It was the epitome of hibernation and I never wanted to get up.
  • But get up I did, because today is cross training day. Ugh. Doing a 40 minute workout was the hardest choice of the day, but I'm here to proudly say I CHOSE IT!
  • Conversations with moms. Specifically:
    • Instagram messaging with Ashley Rodriguez (yes, that Ashley Rodriguez) for a half hour while making supper. She's a kindred spirit--a kindred spirit I really want to be friends with while also totally fan-girling. We discussed books we've been reading and a coffee date someday in the future to talk about life, motherhood, and faith. Anyone want to chip in for my flight to Seattle? 
    • Facetiming with my wonderful mama. I haven't seen nearly enough of her over the past year and we had a luxurious chat catching up and delighting in each other's presence. (Many thanks to Owen and Roy for keeping up with Felix's constant potty needs during our conversation.)
    • Texting with two of my favorite mom friends--one I've been journeying with for a decade and one for just a few months. Such a wonderful little representation of the flowering of new relationships and the deepening of the established. As much as I loved my nap and hiding from the world, the best part of the day was absolutely the excellent conversation shared with incredible women. 
Mother's Day can be overwhelming for me. There are expectations and platitudes and joys and sorrows and sensitivities. I am a mother, daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, mom-friend, and minister of music. That is an awful lot of roles to get just right at the exact same time. To be celebrated, to celebrate, to acknowledge, to comfort, to come alongside. 

No wonder my brain hurts. (The sugar overload from today probably isn't helping either.)

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Ash Wednesday bread

 

A couple of updates as they relate to this photo...

  • Bruno 2.0 is thriving. He has now baked several rounds of sourdough, and we are back to normal. EXCEPT...
  • I had an epiphany after writing the last post about warm environments. In lieu of moving south, I realized I have a beautiful, perfect, large Instant Pot with a yogurt setting. Lo and behold, my activation and rise times have been cut in half by putting my starter and, eventually, my dough, in the IP. The yogurt setting keeps it warm, temperate, and moist. (Picture a giant petri dish...) This is a win-win-win. No more risky oven settings, I'm using my Instant Pot more regularly, and, best of all, it's a FREE solution.
  • For Valentine's Day, Roy introduced me to the wonders (currently overwhelming wonders) of Photoshop and Lightroom. How fun it has been to have new tools to play with in making beautiful photos! I have a lot to learn, but it's a perfect winter project to slowly explore. 
  • This image speaks powerfully to me. Ash Wednesday was yesterday and the imagery of bread is weighty during Lent. The sign of the cross, the naturally-leavened rustic loaf, the rough black cloth, even the smudges of flour are evocative. It was thrilling to watch it come to life--from activating the starter, shaping the loaf, baking it, arranging the cloth, taking the photo, and lightly touching it up in Photoshop. I did this, start to finish, and it feels good. 
  • It also tasted good.

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Christmas Cache Cookies: An Ode to Bruno

Christmas Cache Cookies


My sourdough starter died. Well, actually, that's not entirely true.

I killed my sourdough starter. 

Specifically, I baked it.

My original sourdough starter, Bruno (may he rest in peace), was a good, faithful friend. We met once a week when I fed him, kept him warm, and he produced lots of yummy sour activity to flavor and rise our weekly bread. Thing is, Bruno, like me, only really thrived when he was warm. REAL warm. And, like me, he didn't appreciate Rochester winters. So on Bruno Days I would nestle him safely in the place I secretly yearn for myself.

The oven.

Bruno loved the oven light. He would cozy right up to it, like me with my weighted blanket. But, also like my weighted blanket, sometimes the oven light still wasn't enough to get warm. In these extreme cases I turn the oven on the WARM setting, count to 30, and then shut it off. Kind of like my mattress warmer.

It's not safe to keep your mattress warmer on all night. There are tags with big, bad warning signs to not do this because you could light your bed on fire or kill your sperm or other unspeakable horrors. I kept a similar warning sign on the oven (minus the sperm part), next to the clock, that read: "Is the starter in the oven?!?" This served as a heads-up to Roy that he ought not preheat the oven to 500 for coffee roasting without taking a peek inside to make sure Bruno hadn't already set up camp.

Roy didn't bake Bruno.

I did.

It was really cold on Thursday. Bruno wasn't producing at his normal pace, so I hit the WARM button. And then Felix had to go to the potty or Owen ran into a wall or James needed to know what was for dinner so he could start dreading it. I don't know which thing happened--probably all three. But thirty minutes later I finally noticed the oven clock was ticking down slowly and realized that I had cooked my best friend. 

I tried CPR. I scraped off his crusty, withered top, added some water and a little flour, and prayed that there was life under the surface. Nada.

I'm so sorry Bruno. I blame the kids.

So Bruno 2.0 is in process. And this means I have scads of sourdough discard to use. Some days this isn't a bad thing--sourdough starter added to pancake batter makes...more pancakes. But man cannot live on pancakes alone. (Unless that man is James.)

In addition to all of this sourdough starter, there's a basket up high, next to the fridge, that's been bothering me. It's the basket of the Christmas cache. You know what I'm talking about. People feel the need to gift each other things like boxed chocolates, bagged candies, and sugared nuts around the holidays. This is always a lovely gesture, but it's also overwhelming to be given so much bounty in a single week. So you tuck a bunch of the less perishable things away and try to forget about their existence until such time has passed that you can justify consuming dessert again.

That basket was full. It was taking up precious space. But I didn't want to pitch such sweet sentiments.

Insert Christmas Cache Cookies.


Did we need cookies in the house? We absolutely did not. Do I regret making the cookies after having consumed half a dozen of them in 24 hours? A bit. However, it is so JUSTIFIED because we did not WASTE the things. And there are few activities that provide sweeter satisfaction than using up a bunch of odds and ends that otherwise would get pitched. (This is also why we make Japanese Vegetable Pancakes, which James definitely would NOT live on alone...)

Anyway, inside the Christmas Cache Cookies we have:

  • Browned Irish butter. This wasn't exactly needing to be used, but Irish butter is best used in baked goods such as these. I couldn't believe how much foamier this type of butter gets compared to normal stick butter.
  • Reeses Pieces. When Roy noticed I was putting these in he started trying to sneak them out of the batter and I got real mad because I needed HALF A KILO of add-ins for the recipe. Get yer hands out!
  • Chopped bittersweet chocolate. Leftover Aldi chocolate works real nice here.
  • Girl Scout chocolate covered caramels. Thank you Lucas and Melissa--these were my favorite add-ins of all the add-ins.
  • White chocolate chips. Because I still wasn't at half a kilo and there was a third of a bag left over from Cookiepalooza 2020.
  • Sourdough discard. YES. YES! Waste not want not. And it's actually a real good thing I used it, because there was so much sweet in these cookies that the tang and complexity of the starter really tempered the tone of the cookie. Highly recommend.
  • Flake salt. Flake salt on cookies is becoming my signature.
(We also have boring things like flour, sugar, and eggs.)

These cookies were the bomb.

And hopefully next week our sourdough bread will be the bomb thanks to Bruno 2.0. In the meantime though, I'm going to make a bigger sign to hang on the oven.

Thursday, February 4, 2021

Testifying to the Light: "By Faith"

 

A sermon given at Perinton Presbyterian Church on January 24, 2021.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived with her parents. She was a very quiet, shy child—so quiet that the rural folk of her town called her “strange” and her grandparents worried that she’d never emerge from their kitchen corner to talk with them. But there were two people the little girl loved more than anyone in the whole world—her mother and father, who dearly loved her too and told her so every day. Their greatest joy was to love and protect her and her two younger brothers.

This quiet little girl didn’t particularly like talking with people, but she always listened to the grownups very, very closely, and she learned things from her careful listening. She learned that grownups like you when you follow the rules and when you know the right answers. Knowing the right answers and making grownups happy made her happy. So she got good grades and ate her vegetables, even when she didn’t like them, and practiced the piano every day. She learned all the Bible stories in Sunday School and memorized hundreds of Bible verses. She could even recite all 66 books of the Bible in a single breath! She learned that Jesus had saved her from the bad things she had done and that He was the right answer for saving her from her sin. So she prayed to ask Him into her heart when she was four years old. This made her grownups very happy.

The little girl grew taller and her world became more complex. She fell in love with the smell of a sweaty leather glove on the softball field, experienced elation in perfecting a back walkover, and delighted to discover that, in her family, jello pretzel salad didn’t count as dessert. She also continued to be proven correct that having the right answers was an excellent way to find favor with her evangelical church, her teachers, and with God. So she practiced the piano for hours every day, she got straight A’s, and she read Christian books. She sat attentively in Sunday School classes that prepared her to answer the questions and doubts people might have about Jesus. She waited for God to answer her prayers (it’ll either be “yes,” “no,” or “wait!”) and kept reading the Bible for answers to anything and everything. Increasingly, she felt she wasn’t discovering much new.

By the time she got to college she began to get very tired. It was exhausting juggling difficult classes, musical ensembles, relationships with roommates and friends, keeping in touch with family, and faithfully serving God—all while knowing the right answers and keeping everyone happy. Still she kept on, because this was what had always worked, and she was in excellent standing with her parents, teachers, and, she thought, God.

Then one day the girl got so very tired that she couldn’t go on any longer. She woke up every morning sick to her stomach, dizzy, appetite gone, unable to make herself care to do the right thing and have the right answers. She was working at a summer camp and the camp called her mother and her mother came, picked her up, and drove her home. The girl was very angry—angry at her mother for coming to get her, angry at the camp for calling her mother, and mostly, angry at herself for failing and inconveniencing everyone. And she was angry at God, for making her so tired after how hard she’d tried to please Him.

Her mother drove her home and deposited the angry girl on the couch. And there she fell asleep. She slept, and slept, and slept. She slept 18 hours a day for two whole weeks. At the end of two weeks she felt a bit better, and was able to hear the wisdom and love of her parents. They told her they loved her, not for what she did or what she knew, but because of who she was. She wasn’t sure she believed them.

The girl, loved but broken, wasn’t certain what came next. Would God still love her? For once, she did not have an answer…

 

My life story, thus far, has two acts. You’ve just heard the first—the tale of a young girl, raised in a loving Christian home. She was an introverted perfectionist, who tried very hard to get all the answers right. And, it’s important to note, I had a lot of right answers. I did walk with Jesus and prayed fervently and lived in His Word. I also crashed and burned at 21. The faith of my first act was a safe, tidy, complete faith.

Faith in my second act has been messy and uncertain. It’s been painful and freeing, raw and beautiful. It’s been a lot more honest.

We’ve already heard this morning the first half of Hebrews 11—a wonderful chapter highlighting the faith of Old Testament heroes--Noah, Abraham, Sarah, Joseph, Moses, Rahab, Gideon, Samson, and all the others. They seem so strong, so mighty, so complete. They conquered lands, they were visited by angels, they heard directly from God and were blessed by him. No wonder they’re celebrated on flannelgraph Sunday school boards around the world! Of course they get their own special chapter in Hebrews! When I was a little girl I wanted to be just like them—to feel that close to God. That would be pretty irrefutable proof I was on the right path and had the right answers.

But if we take a closer look at these flannelgraph heroes, we see something else they have in common. Something that is surprising, and crucial to understanding their faithfulness, and ours.

Listen again to Hebrews 11:13

“All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.”

“All of these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised…”

None—a grand total of ZERO—of these faith heroes ever received the complete answers to what God asked them to do.

Whaaa?

My friend Greg Coles has a new book coming out next month called No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging In a World of Alienation. In it, Greg devotes a section to exploring the unfinished faith of Abraham as described in Hebrews 11. It was with great delight that I received Greg’s permission to share an excerpt with you all this morning. He writes, with far greater eloquence than I…

Abraham’s faith is exemplary precisely because he’s still a stranger at the end of the story. Even the land he’s buried on has to be bought specifically for that purpose, because no piece of the promised land belongs to him. His faith is a foreigner’s faith, an unsexy faith, a faith that’s terrible for boosting attendance or tithing numbers. Instead of taking him all the way home, Abraham’s faith takes him only as far as the promise of home. And this, apparently, is the point of the story… If Abraham hadn’t still been longing for something at the end of the story, he wouldn’t have been living by faith anymore.

After my summer of catastrophe, with a shaken, uncertain faith I timidly began to ask God some questions that I knew probably wouldn’t get tidy, certain answers. And, surprise surprise, I didn’t find any tidy, certain answers! But I did rediscover God’s love. I found his love in an invitation to help bring about the promises described in Hebrews 11. I found His love in loved ones who are also practicing a Hebrews 11 faith. Where I used to only think of God’s love in vast constellations, crashing waves, and craggy peaks, I find in surprising ways now—the buttery yellow of a June rosebud, the meditation of a long run, and in sharing a chocolate raspberry torte with a dear friend. I also find it in political crises for which I have no answers, the grief of miscarriages, and broken relationships. As I live by a faith that twists and winds I cling to the promise of the promised land—of home.

My uncertain faith causes me to look at the world around me differently. God is making all things new and He invites us to participate. What does it look like to see the earth, instead of a commodity doomed for destruction, as God’s beautiful gift of creation, and myself as an agent in bringing His kingdom to earth? What does it look like to view each person I meet as a potential fellow kingdom-bearer, instead of a dead soul I must save from eternal damnation? These days, when I read the gospels, I see Jesus in a fresh, new way as he modeled this through his teachings, prayers, and his own acts of faith.

My messy faith gives me permission to lament. When loved ones pass, when diagnoses are heartbreaking, when the world is in chaos, when there are no right answers--I can’t understand why, I can’t fix it, and…and that’s OK. It’s OK to cry out to God, because he doesn’t expect me to understand. The promise is in process. As we see modeled in so many Psalms, and the cries of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, God can handle our disappointment, our frustration, our grief.

My Hebrews 11 faith gives me permission to explore teaching and writings of those who also don’t have all the answers—those who are aliens and sojourners. How liberating it has been to discover I am not alone in working out my faith. In our e-votional sent out this past week there is an attached document that shares a few books and authors who have been particularly helpful to me in recent years. I can’t recommend enough the practice of reading regularly, as it has proven to keep my heart soft to the stories and discoveries of our Christian sisters and brothers.

So when you, my friends, are discouraged, frustrated, and full of unanswered questions, maybe my story, and certainly the stories of the saints of Hebrews 11, will bring you a comfort and hope that is found in God’s grace and eternal plan. We’ve been passed a baton from the heroes of the Old Testament, the apostles of the New, and the saints through history. Let’s continue to run the race together, with faith and endurance, whether or not in this lifetime we get to see the finish line.

To the glory of God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

Chocolate Tahini Babka Buns

I made these this morning. They are all gone.

 SAD has hit. I'm getting very good at spotting it early on by this point in my life. I start sleeping really well--too well. I still run, but I don't get the same endorphin hit. I don't want to get down on the floor with the kids. Everything is just. So. Hard. 

Thankfully, I still like to bake. If that goes away I'll be needing some serious help.

I knew I'd be making dessert this week because today is the first feast day after our sugar-free January (which was a very successful one, I must say). Eating dessert is wonderful, but I couldn't wait to MAKE dessert. A whole realm of the culinary world finally within reach once more!

I was going to make this almond galette, which is gorgeous and will photograph extremely well and taste delicious. But I promised my coworkers I'd bring something to our meeting this morning and the timing of the galette didn't align very well with preparations/baking/transporting. So I shifted gears last minute to these beautiful babies. I've had my eye on Edd Kimber's One Tin Bakes book for a while now, but haven't bought it yet. This recipe, from the book, was available through his website so I decided to see if the hype is worth it before investing.

Yeppers.

I love sticky buns. They are one of my most favorite pastries, and I'll almost always choose it if one exists in a local bakery. They are, admittedly, very sweet and perhaps a bit over the top. This recipe looked like a nice variation--swapping mounds of syrupy cinnamon sugar for a bittersweet chocolate tahini filling. The balance between sweet and savory was, truly, spot on. The dough was a dream to work with and baked up beautifully. 

A few notes/observations:

  • I used Irish butter and it was so worth it for both the enriched dough and the filling. Make the splurge here as you could absolutely taste a difference.
  • Do chill your dough overnight. It's very wet coming out of the mixer and the rest overnight lets everything solidify and makes it way easier to roll out. Bonus tip: chill in a square Rubbermaid (large enough to allow for expansion overnight) and then you'll be all set up to roll out into a square when you turn it out the next day!
  • Because you roll the dough so thin and there are so many revolutions, I did opt for the dental floss trick when cutting the log into individual buns. The crisp, sharp cut really helped accentuate the contrast between the dark chocolate and white dough.
  • It took longer than "45 min-1 hour" for the shaped rolls to expand. The dough is cold coming out of the fridge...plan for more like 90-120 minutes for the yeast to wake up and do its thing.
  • Use all the vanilla syrup. You won't drown them. Promise.

Next feast day: Valentine's Day. <3